Dogs

I've been thinking a lot about dogs lately.  Our kids have consistently hassled us for years about getting a dog.  Our forays into petdom have not been that great.  First, Marti thought a saltwater aquarium would be a great educational tool for the kids.  Hundreds of dollars later ( and one big ice storm power outage that had us surrounding the tropical fish with candles)  we gave up.  Then came Chip our bunny
Chip was great.  We kept her in a pen in the backyard.  She would get out and run and play with us and she was alot of fun.

The problem was we would go days where we forgot about her.  We wouldn't feed her regularly and then we would over do it.  We once fed her too much and she croaked.

Next was Bobby, the hamster.  Guy took very good care of Bobby and we were able to keep him in the old aquarium .  Did you know that hamsters are largely nocturnal?  Bobby would wake up about the time the kids would be going to bed.  Not to mention he would so vigorously run on his wheel that by 2:00AM it would be banging the side of the aquarium.  He died of old age at 3.5. seriously, their metabolisms guarantee a short life.

People are crazy about their pets.  Too crazy.  Pardon me if I believe there is some seriously misplaced affection.  No offense, but adoption is for people not cats. 

However, I love dogs.  I raised Beagles as a  kid.  I watched my Dad experience some real companionship with his walking partner Barney, an adorable Basset Hound.  I believe the mandate of dominion in creation is a blessing and we experience that when we care for and have pets in our lives.

Our problem is, we are never at home.  Maybe when the nest empties a bit more, we'll get a dog.   I promise if we do, we will do a good job of caring for him.  I hear Jack Russells can run up to 10 miles at a time with no trouble.
We'll see.

Trust II

The believer understands that she has been forgiven at great personal cost to God.  Therefore, forgiveness is a non-negotiable.  However, to restore intimacy and health to any relationship, there must be trust.  That actually is harder to come by.
First, trust requires repeated faithful action.  I tell my kids that trust is like a bank account and it is better to make deposits than withdrawals.  God is trustworthy because he has an eternity of faithful repeated action.
Repentance is tested over time.  I only know you have repented by the fruit.  Fruit takes time to develop and ripen.
Second, trust cannot be demanded only earned.  If you want me to trust you, don't tell me to trust you, show me.
Third, trust can only exist in an atmosphere of the truth.  Trust is developed in a context where the truth is always communicated and lived. 
Fourth, to foster the truth, the offended must handle the offender in a trustworthy way.  If you tell me the truth, then I must handle you and those facts in a way that continues to open the path of trust.

Trust

I've been thinking alot lately about trust.  We have just experienced in our extended family a multi-year desecration and destruction of trust (apparent multiple adulteries for a long time).  Right now there is a lot of talk about repenting, forgiving, grace, restoration, resurrection and moving forward.   I am glad for that.  Those words are all gospel words and they are essential and necessary.  In fact they are what we have to have in any relationship.
Honestly though, they are relatively easy to come by.  I know that sounds heretical or worse cynical.  Trust me (no pun intended), I believe in the reality that the Holy Spirit brings about these things in Jesus' people.  They are our life  because they reflect the value and power of the gospel of atonement.  Sin has been paid for, blood has been shed and I am made right with the God I have offended.  Hallelujah and Amen.
Now what?  That I believe is the rub.  Because sin is not just against God (though primarily), it is also against human beings with whom we sleep, eat and live, how do I exist now in a relationship of vulnerability with the one who has sinned and thus violated trust (love necessitates this)? 
If forgiveness and repentance and atonement are the judicial means of dealing with sin, how do I move forward with you? 
God  forgets my sin in that he no longer holds it against me, but my memory of pain and betrayal will not let me just move on.  Though in forgiveness, I forgo demanding you pay for your sin against me, I absorb it, How do I move on?  Can I trust you, after all, you did sin and sin big time?

My attempt at an answer tomorrow. 

Random Winter Blahhh

 Not a fan of winter.  Especially in a week where we get really bad news about the extended fam, colonoscopy ('clean as a whistle' to quote the very insightful doc), an angry teenager taking out a sign with his car (we are making him replace it) and the realization that though I love them, my kids are not so easy to rear.

I was pulling out of the parking lot at church the other and just felt low, crappy, and anxious.  While there was nothing particularly bad going on, I had to think, what is wrong with me?  I realized that there was nothing I could do to feel better.  I just miss the light and warmth.  Darkness is not my friend.  Thank you Jesus, that you did not make me a Canadian.

Craving carbs is another bummer about (WSD) Winter Steve Disorder.  I love the madelienes from BJ's.  I was consoling myself with a box of them the other day,(both plain and chocolate dipped) when my dear son pointed out to me that they are 120-140 calories apiece.  I only had 7.

The other thing I don't like about this time of year is that there are people around me who are actually cheerful and seem to enjoy, or at least not be bothered by the funk.  Mystifying.  How come everyone is not like me?  Can you at least comfort me by agreeing that this time of year blows?

Spring will come.  It is coming. 

Jesus does not fail me at times like this.  I know that and believe that.  I'm just ready for the sun to rise before 7:25.

How much are condos in Florida?  

Maddie

Sixteen years ago today, she arrived tiny (7.5 weeks early), squirmy and wheezy.  After several days in the NICU she came home at 4 and a half pounds. Because she was so early, we were not prepared.  For several weeks she slept in a dresser drawer in our room. She loved pink which was a relief because of the testosterone surrounding her in the house.  She has a great sense of humor and thinks Mark Wahlberg and Garrett Hedlund  are hot.

She has developed into quite the young lady.  Sometimes I see her and it just takes my breath away.  Where did this beautiful young woman come from?  Where is the little girl who used to smack her brother in the head?

She is an amazing guitarist.  She has worked hard at it and is quite good and getting better everyday.  Recently I heard music coming from her room.  I thought it was a recording, but it was her.

She has a massive bunion and wart on one foot,  but it does not keep her from wearing overly high heels and running a half-marathon with her Dad. 

She worries that boys will not like her, I don't. I have other worries.

She is generous and she loves little kids.  She does not suffer fools and she loves "Say Yes to the Dress".   She is big on gouda, mangoes and pears.

You  really need to pay attention if a sentence starts with, "I'm not gonna lie...."

The other day she called to tell me God had answered a prayer she had been praying  for awhile.  I said, "So do you believe there really is a God"?  She responded, "Yeah and He is pretty cool, too".

Her Mother had to convince me that Jesus wanted us to have another baby.  "I'm not sure", she said,  if our family is complete".

It wasn't.  You are our joy.

Maddie, Happy Birthday!

Your Dad loves you and thinks you are a total babe.