18 years ago, after 24 hours of labor you came, 3 weeks early and yet weighing in at 8.5 pounds. By your first birthday you weighed over 32 pounds. You were so fat, you did not walk, crawl or roll over until you were almost 18 months old.
You made the decision not to wear diapers anymore and that was that. No accidents either.
I watched you run down the beach when you were 4 and you just kept running and running and very fast. Now you are an ALL-State runner.
I remember you mightily struggling in school, and yet with determination and grit you pulled through and now you take IB and AP classes.
You have always been a charmer.
You drive your mother and your sister crazy.
However, you get grace. It takes a big sinner to need a big Gospel.
I am so proud of you. It thrills me to see the man you are growing into.
Happy Birthday! Guy-Baby!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Big Milt
For the first 15 years of my Dad's working life, he worked as a steel rigger, riveter, and welder. He worked on bridges, malls, power plants, refineries and large office buildings. For a large part of that time, he worked with and around asbestos. In fact he remembers cutting pieces of it to rest his head on while he ate his lunch.
My impression is that the companies he worked for knew the dangers of this material since some time in the Twenties. However, he worked most of this time without a hard hat or ear plugs ( he is essentially deaf today). So of course there would be little concern for the guys who were exposed profoundly to asbestos.
All the guys my Dad worked with have asbestosis, mesothelioma or reside in a coffin. The smokers are long dead.
My Grandfather died in 1968 from complications from stuff he inhaled drilling a railroad tunnel in West Virginia in the Thirties, so my family is not new to this. Whatever he was exposed to killed my Grandmother, possibly as she breathed it in as well, hand-washing his clothes. All of my uncles on both my Mom and Dad's side who worked construction have been struck by this disease. Only one Uncle remains and my Dad.
Fortunately, several years ago an attorney in Salisbury, North Carolina kept running into these old construction workers who were dropping like flies from asbestos -related diseases. She went to work for them. My Dad received a settlement but more importantly, he received a little yellow card that covers all of his medical care, if he ever develops full-blown Asbestosis. For years he has gone for a scan, that showed a band of material in his lungs but, it was not active. He has not needed the card.
Well, he needs it now.
Every morning he wakes up and coughs. Once he has coughed up about a cup full of fluid, he is ready to face the day. He still loves life, works in his garden, participates fully in the life of his Church, speculates on real estate and complains bitterly about the state of politics in America. He loves his grandchildren very much. He is still pretty hot for my Mom as well. He will go again next week to see his pulmonologist.
At Christmas, he asked my brother and I to speak at his memorial service, my brother to give the eulogy and of course, for me to preach.
It could and should be quite some time before I have to prep that sermon. My Mom seems nervous, but wise enough to let him do what he wants to do.
I write this today to help process what is going on in my heart. I am a free-market capitalist and I tend to be a libertarian. However, failure to act on behalf of one's workers is a very bad thing. I can't help but wish for the bosses to have cough up a lung everyday for the rest of eternity.
My Dad is still quite the jolly fellow and handles this stuff much better than I do. He believes (rightly) that heaven will be a big reunion and that Jesus will see him safely to that reunion.
Pray for us.
My impression is that the companies he worked for knew the dangers of this material since some time in the Twenties. However, he worked most of this time without a hard hat or ear plugs ( he is essentially deaf today). So of course there would be little concern for the guys who were exposed profoundly to asbestos.
All the guys my Dad worked with have asbestosis, mesothelioma or reside in a coffin. The smokers are long dead.
My Grandfather died in 1968 from complications from stuff he inhaled drilling a railroad tunnel in West Virginia in the Thirties, so my family is not new to this. Whatever he was exposed to killed my Grandmother, possibly as she breathed it in as well, hand-washing his clothes. All of my uncles on both my Mom and Dad's side who worked construction have been struck by this disease. Only one Uncle remains and my Dad.
Fortunately, several years ago an attorney in Salisbury, North Carolina kept running into these old construction workers who were dropping like flies from asbestos -related diseases. She went to work for them. My Dad received a settlement but more importantly, he received a little yellow card that covers all of his medical care, if he ever develops full-blown Asbestosis. For years he has gone for a scan, that showed a band of material in his lungs but, it was not active. He has not needed the card.
Well, he needs it now.
Every morning he wakes up and coughs. Once he has coughed up about a cup full of fluid, he is ready to face the day. He still loves life, works in his garden, participates fully in the life of his Church, speculates on real estate and complains bitterly about the state of politics in America. He loves his grandchildren very much. He is still pretty hot for my Mom as well. He will go again next week to see his pulmonologist.
At Christmas, he asked my brother and I to speak at his memorial service, my brother to give the eulogy and of course, for me to preach.
It could and should be quite some time before I have to prep that sermon. My Mom seems nervous, but wise enough to let him do what he wants to do.
I write this today to help process what is going on in my heart. I am a free-market capitalist and I tend to be a libertarian. However, failure to act on behalf of one's workers is a very bad thing. I can't help but wish for the bosses to have cough up a lung everyday for the rest of eternity.
My Dad is still quite the jolly fellow and handles this stuff much better than I do. He believes (rightly) that heaven will be a big reunion and that Jesus will see him safely to that reunion.
Pray for us.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Pollen
The glory of the LORD shall cover the earth as the pollen coats everything! Hope it is not as yellow and allergenic.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Gardens and Trees
We began in a garden.
We sinned first in a garden.
It had to do with a tree.
Jesus did battle in a garden and won.
Jesus hung on a tree.
His tomb was in a garden.
In the middle of our eternal city there is a garden with a tree with leaves that heal the nations.
"O all ye who pass by, behold and see:
Man stole the fruit, but I must climb the tree;
The tree of life to all, but only me:
Was ever grief like mine?"
George Herbert
We sinned first in a garden.
It had to do with a tree.
Jesus did battle in a garden and won.
Jesus hung on a tree.
His tomb was in a garden.
In the middle of our eternal city there is a garden with a tree with leaves that heal the nations.
"O all ye who pass by, behold and see:
Man stole the fruit, but I must climb the tree;
The tree of life to all, but only me:
Was ever grief like mine?"
George Herbert
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Notification of Actual Payer
So
When I send Tate money or pay on his account at Virginia Tech, I get this hilarious email called "Notification of Actual Payer".
As if there would/could be a 'fake' payer.
Yes, I am the actual payer. I paid it, I watched my bank account dwindle by the 'actual' amount. Honestly, I did not really need to know, I already knew it.
Jesus, the actual payer for me, 'knows' what it cost.
When I send Tate money or pay on his account at Virginia Tech, I get this hilarious email called "Notification of Actual Payer".
As if there would/could be a 'fake' payer.
Yes, I am the actual payer. I paid it, I watched my bank account dwindle by the 'actual' amount. Honestly, I did not really need to know, I already knew it.
Jesus, the actual payer for me, 'knows' what it cost.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Hope
"There are still so many things I don't know. If a drowned man can awaken, then I believe a broken man can heal."
That is a quote from "The Shipping News" after a fisherman presumed dead at his own wake, 'wakes up'. The protagonist believes that if a man can come back from the dead, he can come back from incredible suffering and loss.
The resurrection means more than we get to beat death. It means that that the Kingdom of God is already inaugurated and the reversal of the curse over the whole of creation has begun. All that is the result of the Fall is being destroyed.
All that is sad is becoming untrue.
That is a quote from "The Shipping News" after a fisherman presumed dead at his own wake, 'wakes up'. The protagonist believes that if a man can come back from the dead, he can come back from incredible suffering and loss.
The resurrection means more than we get to beat death. It means that that the Kingdom of God is already inaugurated and the reversal of the curse over the whole of creation has begun. All that is the result of the Fall is being destroyed.
All that is sad is becoming untrue.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tournament
What makes the NCAA Tournament so exciting is that it is literally 'sudden death'. You win, you advance, you lose you go home. Unlike the way the College Football (FBS) ends with bowls, etc. and a fictional national champion.
The NCAA Tournament is clear and straightforward. Win your 6 (or 7) games and the confetti comes down in your team's colors. Not so clear with FBS football, see TCU.
Which is better?
I don't know, honestly, which I prefer.
Why?
Well, in the NCAA Tournament, everyone ends their season with a loss, except the champion. With the present series of bowls, half the teams end their season with a win. Maybe I'm a wuss, but I like that.
On the other hand, having a clear champion certainly has advantages and for the school who wins, it is a remarkable thing for money and admissions.
Grace is like FBS, not as clear. NCAA Tournament, like the Law is clear.
The NCAA Tournament is clear and straightforward. Win your 6 (or 7) games and the confetti comes down in your team's colors. Not so clear with FBS football, see TCU.
Which is better?
I don't know, honestly, which I prefer.
Why?
Well, in the NCAA Tournament, everyone ends their season with a loss, except the champion. With the present series of bowls, half the teams end their season with a win. Maybe I'm a wuss, but I like that.
On the other hand, having a clear champion certainly has advantages and for the school who wins, it is a remarkable thing for money and admissions.
Grace is like FBS, not as clear. NCAA Tournament, like the Law is clear.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Foreign Body Ingestion (938AA)
That is what I was diagnosed with. How could they know? Well, first, I told them that while taking down something from a bulletin board, I put a thumb tack in my mouth to hold it because my hands were full. then I sneezed. (Did you know that you inhale sharply before a sneeze?)
Second, it was right there in the x-ray.
Humiliating. This was particularly so, when the admitting nurse asked if I 'swallowed the tack deliberately'? "#$%^^#$ Yes I was trying a science experiment".
Well... Now we wait. The xray showed it was either low in my stomach or high in my small intestine.
"Go about your normal routine, you'll know if something is wrong because a perforated gut really, really hurts, Mr. Shelby."
"Can I eat?"
"Sure"
"I was thinking of going for a run this afternoon, will all that jostling cause a problem?"
"No, you should be fine. These things generally pass, you can explore your stool if you like."
I will never think of the word 'explore' the same way again.
Humbled, even humiliated, to say the least.
Thank you, Jesus.
Second, it was right there in the x-ray.
Humiliating. This was particularly so, when the admitting nurse asked if I 'swallowed the tack deliberately'? "#$%^^#$ Yes I was trying a science experiment".
Well... Now we wait. The xray showed it was either low in my stomach or high in my small intestine.
"Go about your normal routine, you'll know if something is wrong because a perforated gut really, really hurts, Mr. Shelby."
"Can I eat?"
"Sure"
"I was thinking of going for a run this afternoon, will all that jostling cause a problem?"
"No, you should be fine. These things generally pass, you can explore your stool if you like."
I will never think of the word 'explore' the same way again.
Humbled, even humiliated, to say the least.
Thank you, Jesus.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Sick
Since last Thursday, I have had quite a cold. Not the flu, just a cold. Malaise, snot, scratchy throat and worst of all a cough. Like most men, I am a real wuss when it comes to being sick.
Other than taking some zinc lozenges, sitting in the steam room at the JCC and drinking lots of hibiscus tea, I've tried to go about my normal routine.
My problem is I am impatient. Ok, I get it, everyone gets sick, 48 hours is enough, though.
I don't like feeling sick, I don't like coughing and I particularly don't like this interruption to the way i believe my life should be. I'm ready to be done now. I even found myself telling Jesus, I'd had enough and it was time for Him to step up to the plate.
No one likes to be sick. However, the Bible says that strength is made perfect in weakness. Being sick makes me feel very weak.
Maybe that is the point. Jesus made Himself weak (whoa) for me. Now that is love.
Other than taking some zinc lozenges, sitting in the steam room at the JCC and drinking lots of hibiscus tea, I've tried to go about my normal routine.
My problem is I am impatient. Ok, I get it, everyone gets sick, 48 hours is enough, though.
I don't like feeling sick, I don't like coughing and I particularly don't like this interruption to the way i believe my life should be. I'm ready to be done now. I even found myself telling Jesus, I'd had enough and it was time for Him to step up to the plate.
No one likes to be sick. However, the Bible says that strength is made perfect in weakness. Being sick makes me feel very weak.
Maybe that is the point. Jesus made Himself weak (whoa) for me. Now that is love.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Dogs
I've been thinking a lot about dogs lately. Our kids have consistently hassled us for years about getting a dog. Our forays into petdom have not been that great. First, Marti thought a saltwater aquarium would be a great educational tool for the kids. Hundreds of dollars later ( and one big ice storm power outage that had us surrounding the tropical fish with candles) we gave up. Then came Chip our bunny
Chip was great. We kept her in a pen in the backyard. She would get out and run and play with us and she was alot of fun.
The problem was we would go days where we forgot about her. We wouldn't feed her regularly and then we would over do it. We once fed her too much and she croaked.
Next was Bobby, the hamster. Guy took very good care of Bobby and we were able to keep him in the old aquarium . Did you know that hamsters are largely nocturnal? Bobby would wake up about the time the kids would be going to bed. Not to mention he would so vigorously run on his wheel that by 2:00AM it would be banging the side of the aquarium. He died of old age at 3.5. seriously, their metabolisms guarantee a short life.
People are crazy about their pets. Too crazy. Pardon me if I believe there is some seriously misplaced affection. No offense, but adoption is for people not cats.
However, I love dogs. I raised Beagles as a kid. I watched my Dad experience some real companionship with his walking partner Barney, an adorable Basset Hound. I believe the mandate of dominion in creation is a blessing and we experience that when we care for and have pets in our lives.
Our problem is, we are never at home. Maybe when the nest empties a bit more, we'll get a dog. I promise if we do, we will do a good job of caring for him. I hear Jack Russells can run up to 10 miles at a time with no trouble.
We'll see.
Chip was great. We kept her in a pen in the backyard. She would get out and run and play with us and she was alot of fun.
The problem was we would go days where we forgot about her. We wouldn't feed her regularly and then we would over do it. We once fed her too much and she croaked.
Next was Bobby, the hamster. Guy took very good care of Bobby and we were able to keep him in the old aquarium . Did you know that hamsters are largely nocturnal? Bobby would wake up about the time the kids would be going to bed. Not to mention he would so vigorously run on his wheel that by 2:00AM it would be banging the side of the aquarium. He died of old age at 3.5. seriously, their metabolisms guarantee a short life.
People are crazy about their pets. Too crazy. Pardon me if I believe there is some seriously misplaced affection. No offense, but adoption is for people not cats.
However, I love dogs. I raised Beagles as a kid. I watched my Dad experience some real companionship with his walking partner Barney, an adorable Basset Hound. I believe the mandate of dominion in creation is a blessing and we experience that when we care for and have pets in our lives.
Our problem is, we are never at home. Maybe when the nest empties a bit more, we'll get a dog. I promise if we do, we will do a good job of caring for him. I hear Jack Russells can run up to 10 miles at a time with no trouble.
We'll see.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Trust II
The believer understands that she has been forgiven at great personal cost to God. Therefore, forgiveness is a non-negotiable. However, to restore intimacy and health to any relationship, there must be trust. That actually is harder to come by.
First, trust requires repeated faithful action. I tell my kids that trust is like a bank account and it is better to make deposits than withdrawals. God is trustworthy because he has an eternity of faithful repeated action.
Repentance is tested over time. I only know you have repented by the fruit. Fruit takes time to develop and ripen.
Second, trust cannot be demanded only earned. If you want me to trust you, don't tell me to trust you, show me.
Third, trust can only exist in an atmosphere of the truth. Trust is developed in a context where the truth is always communicated and lived.
Fourth, to foster the truth, the offended must handle the offender in a trustworthy way. If you tell me the truth, then I must handle you and those facts in a way that continues to open the path of trust.
First, trust requires repeated faithful action. I tell my kids that trust is like a bank account and it is better to make deposits than withdrawals. God is trustworthy because he has an eternity of faithful repeated action.
Repentance is tested over time. I only know you have repented by the fruit. Fruit takes time to develop and ripen.
Second, trust cannot be demanded only earned. If you want me to trust you, don't tell me to trust you, show me.
Third, trust can only exist in an atmosphere of the truth. Trust is developed in a context where the truth is always communicated and lived.
Fourth, to foster the truth, the offended must handle the offender in a trustworthy way. If you tell me the truth, then I must handle you and those facts in a way that continues to open the path of trust.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Trust
I've been thinking alot lately about trust. We have just experienced in our extended family a multi-year desecration and destruction of trust (apparent multiple adulteries for a long time). Right now there is a lot of talk about repenting, forgiving, grace, restoration, resurrection and moving forward. I am glad for that. Those words are all gospel words and they are essential and necessary. In fact they are what we have to have in any relationship.
Honestly though, they are relatively easy to come by. I know that sounds heretical or worse cynical. Trust me (no pun intended), I believe in the reality that the Holy Spirit brings about these things in Jesus' people. They are our life because they reflect the value and power of the gospel of atonement. Sin has been paid for, blood has been shed and I am made right with the God I have offended. Hallelujah and Amen.
Now what? That I believe is the rub. Because sin is not just against God (though primarily), it is also against human beings with whom we sleep, eat and live, how do I exist now in a relationship of vulnerability with the one who has sinned and thus violated trust (love necessitates this)?
If forgiveness and repentance and atonement are the judicial means of dealing with sin, how do I move forward with you?
God forgets my sin in that he no longer holds it against me, but my memory of pain and betrayal will not let me just move on. Though in forgiveness, I forgo demanding you pay for your sin against me, I absorb it, How do I move on? Can I trust you, after all, you did sin and sin big time?
My attempt at an answer tomorrow.
Honestly though, they are relatively easy to come by. I know that sounds heretical or worse cynical. Trust me (no pun intended), I believe in the reality that the Holy Spirit brings about these things in Jesus' people. They are our life because they reflect the value and power of the gospel of atonement. Sin has been paid for, blood has been shed and I am made right with the God I have offended. Hallelujah and Amen.
Now what? That I believe is the rub. Because sin is not just against God (though primarily), it is also against human beings with whom we sleep, eat and live, how do I exist now in a relationship of vulnerability with the one who has sinned and thus violated trust (love necessitates this)?
If forgiveness and repentance and atonement are the judicial means of dealing with sin, how do I move forward with you?
God forgets my sin in that he no longer holds it against me, but my memory of pain and betrayal will not let me just move on. Though in forgiveness, I forgo demanding you pay for your sin against me, I absorb it, How do I move on? Can I trust you, after all, you did sin and sin big time?
My attempt at an answer tomorrow.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Random Winter Blahhh
Not a fan of winter. Especially in a week where we get really bad news about the extended fam, colonoscopy ('clean as a whistle' to quote the very insightful doc), an angry teenager taking out a sign with his car (we are making him replace it) and the realization that though I love them, my kids are not so easy to rear.
I was pulling out of the parking lot at church the other and just felt low, crappy, and anxious. While there was nothing particularly bad going on, I had to think, what is wrong with me? I realized that there was nothing I could do to feel better. I just miss the light and warmth. Darkness is not my friend. Thank you Jesus, that you did not make me a Canadian.
Craving carbs is another bummer about (WSD) Winter Steve Disorder. I love the madelienes from BJ's. I was consoling myself with a box of them the other day,(both plain and chocolate dipped) when my dear son pointed out to me that they are 120-140 calories apiece. I only had 7.
The other thing I don't like about this time of year is that there are people around me who are actually cheerful and seem to enjoy, or at least not be bothered by the funk. Mystifying. How come everyone is not like me? Can you at least comfort me by agreeing that this time of year blows?
Spring will come. It is coming.
Jesus does not fail me at times like this. I know that and believe that. I'm just ready for the sun to rise before 7:25.
How much are condos in Florida?
I was pulling out of the parking lot at church the other and just felt low, crappy, and anxious. While there was nothing particularly bad going on, I had to think, what is wrong with me? I realized that there was nothing I could do to feel better. I just miss the light and warmth. Darkness is not my friend. Thank you Jesus, that you did not make me a Canadian.
Craving carbs is another bummer about (WSD) Winter Steve Disorder. I love the madelienes from BJ's. I was consoling myself with a box of them the other day,(both plain and chocolate dipped) when my dear son pointed out to me that they are 120-140 calories apiece. I only had 7.
The other thing I don't like about this time of year is that there are people around me who are actually cheerful and seem to enjoy, or at least not be bothered by the funk. Mystifying. How come everyone is not like me? Can you at least comfort me by agreeing that this time of year blows?
Spring will come. It is coming.
Jesus does not fail me at times like this. I know that and believe that. I'm just ready for the sun to rise before 7:25.
How much are condos in Florida?
Friday, January 7, 2011
Maddie
Sixteen years ago today, she arrived tiny (7.5 weeks early), squirmy and wheezy. After several days in the NICU she came home at 4 and a half pounds. Because she was so early, we were not prepared. For several weeks she slept in a dresser drawer in our room. She loved pink which was a relief because of the testosterone surrounding her in the house. She has a great sense of humor and thinks Mark Wahlberg and Garrett Hedlund are hot.
She has developed into quite the young lady. Sometimes I see her and it just takes my breath away. Where did this beautiful young woman come from? Where is the little girl who used to smack her brother in the head?
She is an amazing guitarist. She has worked hard at it and is quite good and getting better everyday. Recently I heard music coming from her room. I thought it was a recording, but it was her.
She has a massive bunion and wart on one foot, but it does not keep her from wearing overly high heels and running a half-marathon with her Dad.
She worries that boys will not like her, I don't. I have other worries.
She is generous and she loves little kids. She does not suffer fools and she loves "Say Yes to the Dress". She is big on gouda, mangoes and pears.
You really need to pay attention if a sentence starts with, "I'm not gonna lie...."
The other day she called to tell me God had answered a prayer she had been praying for awhile. I said, "So do you believe there really is a God"? She responded, "Yeah and He is pretty cool, too".
Her Mother had to convince me that Jesus wanted us to have another baby. "I'm not sure", she said, if our family is complete".
It wasn't. You are our joy.
Maddie, Happy Birthday!
Your Dad loves you and thinks you are a total babe.
She has developed into quite the young lady. Sometimes I see her and it just takes my breath away. Where did this beautiful young woman come from? Where is the little girl who used to smack her brother in the head?
She is an amazing guitarist. She has worked hard at it and is quite good and getting better everyday. Recently I heard music coming from her room. I thought it was a recording, but it was her.
She has a massive bunion and wart on one foot, but it does not keep her from wearing overly high heels and running a half-marathon with her Dad.
She worries that boys will not like her, I don't. I have other worries.
She is generous and she loves little kids. She does not suffer fools and she loves "Say Yes to the Dress". She is big on gouda, mangoes and pears.
You really need to pay attention if a sentence starts with, "I'm not gonna lie...."
The other day she called to tell me God had answered a prayer she had been praying for awhile. I said, "So do you believe there really is a God"? She responded, "Yeah and He is pretty cool, too".
Her Mother had to convince me that Jesus wanted us to have another baby. "I'm not sure", she said, if our family is complete".
It wasn't. You are our joy.
Maddie, Happy Birthday!
Your Dad loves you and thinks you are a total babe.
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